My least favourite word – How I’m honouring Jess Ainscough
A word I see lots of people using is “enough”. That they are enough. That when they have enough money, they’ll be happier. That when they loose enough weight, they’ll be motivated to eat better. That they want to be enough. And every time I hear it I feel sick to my stomach.
Enough is when you’re making a baked apple dessert for three people and you have three apples. Its when your prescription medication is about to run out and you have suitable time to get it refilled. Enough is a measurement, its a low set bar that means you’ll just meet a standard. Its also not an acceptable way to live your life.
Last week, someone I never met passed away. While I know some of her close friends, I never had the opportunity to met Jess, though I devoured her blog (sometimes literally – she shared some fantastic food porn!). Her passing wasn’t the only BIG THING to happen of late. All around me, people are going through fundamental life shifts – births, deaths, big moves and changes. I’m going through one myself – I’m currently changing my treatment plan for VWD, and yep, its a big change (more on that another day). While I didn’t have personal contact with Jess, she’s impacted my life in ways I’m not sure I can describe. Without her, this blog wouldn’t exist. Without her, I wouldn’t have explored, tested, evaluated and examined my health and the decisions surrounding it as much as I do now. I wouldn’t feel as confident in following my gut, and forging my own path in my life and health. I possibly wouldn’t have met a few of her friends, either, who have inspired me in workshops, pushed me to transform my life as my coaches and had me get in touch with who I really want to be.
When we lose someone from our lives, we sometimes think about the hole they’ve left, and what we can do to honour them. To have their life mean more by doing something for them after they’ve gone. Having only read Jess’s words, and heard her speak on video, I don’t think she’d be ok with anyone just being enough. From afar, I saw Jess demand the best for herself, expect more, give more and want everything she had the chance to do. It wasn’t enough for her to have a treatment that was going to severely impact her quality of life, and possibly not even save it, she want better, and chose it, and did so with love and kindness – as Tara reminds us in her post, Jess was never battled her illness, she lived in wellness for 6 of the 7 years cancer was in her life (blimey that’s inspiring!). She also gave an extraordinary amount of herself to all of us – for many years she blogged daily, emailed weekly and took time to respond to oodles of comments left for her. This is not the description of a person who was ok with being just enough.
That is how I want to live my life – getting the best, sharing all that I can and inspiring you to take charge of your health, especially when you’re feeling drawn to choosing your own path.
This is how I’m going to honour a woman who I never met, and whose life and passing have effected me – by demanding and being MORE.
I hope the same for you – demand more. Ask for only the best, the exceptional options, the ones that you know in your gut are the right way to go, even if it seems impossible. Know you can create the amazing in your life, and encourage yourself to get there. Jess did it, and I know we can too. Know you’re better than being enough, because you are.